Fear of Man

Have you ever made a complete, total fool of yourself, then been rather glad afterward. I do this fairly regularly. However, one particular instance comes to mind.

Afterward the person seated behind me asked, “Do you have a lot of anxiety? Because I felt like you did and I was praying for you.” 

MY response, “Well, I don’t know. I never really thought about it.” Then as I drove home, realized my head was still reeling, I thoughtfully contemplated, “Well, I guess I was feeling a bit of anxiety.”

Have you ever heard of “The Fear of Man?” It's a term used in ministry, church-type circles. Basically, just means that you are concerned what people think of you. You don’t want to look like an idiot. You have flash-backs to eating your lunch in the bathroom during junior high because you didn't know who to sit by in the cafeteria. (Ok, maybe that last one hits a bit close to home.) 

The idea is to overcome this so that you don’t worry about what anyone thinks of you because if we are to truly be lead by the Holy Spirit there are times when we just might look like a fool. Heck, if we are to do ANYTHING meaningful there are times when we might look like a fool. So, therefore, the “fear of man” is just not a very good thing.

Back to my current state of “anxiety.” My husband, kids and I had gone to hear Michael Koulianos speak. He pastors a church called Jesus Image in Orlando, Florida and is known for having a worship service whose sole mission is to exalt the name of Jesus, not to cater to what is popular or the socially acceptable church structure. As I was listening to him speak I had the sudden thought, “This man has no fear of man.” He seemed to effortlessly go where the Lord led with no thought of what others might think of him. My next thought was, “I should ask him to break that off of me.” 

Now, perhaps I should back-track a little or at least give some cliff notes. I believe that we are all given certain “gifts of the Spirit” but that we are to “earnestly desire” all the gifts and one way that we can receive a gift is through impartation. It sounds whacky, I know, but it's really quite simple. Someone who carries a certain anointing or gifting simply prays and asks that God would give you the same gift. No big deal. Well, I figured it had to work the same way with getting rid of something…or so the thought “occurred” to me. Actually, it felt more like the Lord popped it into my head. 

Regardless, my next question for the Lord / prayer was, “How do I make that happen?” To which I heard, “Just yell it out.” Well, to that, part of me wanted to laugh out-loud and the other part of me wanted to throw-up but I simply responded, “Lord, if you want me to do that have him (Michael Koulianos) ask first.” Simple enough. Safe enough. That probably wouldn’t happen. And besides, if it did, he (Michael) asked first so what’s the big deal. Now, I could get back to enjoying the rest of the sermon.

All went pretty well till we got to the end when he (Michael) said, “Is there anyone in need of ministry?” 

Is that asking? Does that count? All of this was going through my head while I could feel the Holy Spirit shouting loudly within me, “Say something! Say something now!!”

So I shouted (in a squeaky, terrified voice), “I’m supposed to ask you to break off the fear of man in me,” as the ENTIRE auditorium turned to look at me. 

Yea…so it turns out that was a rhetorical question. He meant in general. I will say I firmly believe that the fear of man WAS broken off of me in that moment. And should I ever show up somewhere in my underwear on accident it will be no big deal. Because I have no fear of man now. The Lord works in funny ways doesn’t He.